A WONDERFUL WAY TO CREATE A FAMILY
We chose Thursday's Child after looking at a number of different agencies. We decided early on that we wanted to use a local agency to do both our homestudy and child placement, rather than an out-of-state agency for the placement, so that we would not just be dealing with people over the phone. We were impressed with the personal attention Thursday's Child initially gave us. They appeared up front and honest and did not make unrealistic promises. Also, they were not a high pressure agency and gave us time to think about different decisions we had to make. What finally convinced us to use Thursday's Child was an informal gathering with other adoptive and waiting parents who have been Thursday Child's clients. There we had the opportunity to talk to parents in different stages of the process, as well as meet their children. We found other parents quite willing to share their stories, both the ups and downs of their adoption journeys, and were impressed by the positive attitudes they had towards Thursday's Child. Our experiences with them have likewise been very positive.
What we liked most about Thursday's Child is that they are a small agency, so you, as a client, never feel like just a number. We always felt like the director was up-to-date on our case and knew what was going on personally. We also liked the fact that so many of Thursday's Child workers are adoptive parents themselves. They had a good understanding of what we were going through during the different phases of the adoption. Also, they continue to offer ongoing opportunities to interact with other adoptive parents through informal social events several times a year.
We found Thursday's Child to be extremely ethical, placing high value both on what is best for the children and meeting the needs of the adoptive parents. Also, they were upfront and accurate about fees from the very beginning of the process.
Both our referrals were quick. For Matthew, we waited less than a month. For Katie, the wait was about a month as well.
The waiting period for Matthew was relatively easy. For some reason we had a sense that everything was going to work out fine, and we were very busy getting ready for him. He arrived home less than three months after referral. The waiting period for Katie was more difficult. We had an unexpectedly long wait from the time of verbal referral to receiving paperwork, which caused us some anxiety. Once the paperwork arrived, things moved very quickly and we were able to travel a little over three months after verbal referral. Throughout the wait, Thursday's Child was very supportive, not minding when we called with questions, reassuring us, and keeping us informed as much as possible.
Our first and second adoption experiences were fairly similar, except for some reason we had more anxiety with the second adoption. There was no rational explanation for this that we could identify. Also, with Matthew, he was escorted home so we did not travel.
Dan describes his feelings of meeting his children for the first time as "love at first sight" and he bonded very quickly. Sandy, being more reserved by nature, was awed by both children and committed to them, but took time to get to know them before she really felt "bonded" to them. It took a few weeks to fall in love with them as individuals and to feel like their mother.
Our travel experience was not typical. Dan traveled with his father-in-law to get Katie. Their trip was rather rushed because the agency attempted to (and did) complete the adoption before the beginning of TET (the Vietnamese New Year) when the country would shut down for a period of weeks. He went directly from the airport to the orphanage to meet Katie. The Giving and Receiving ceremony was the next day. Two days later, Katie, who had been healthy up to this point, came down with a viral infection and was hospitalized until she flew home. This was a difficult time, and the adoption staff was very helpful in getting her proper medical care and helping complete the paperwork quickly. Because of this, unfortunately there was little time to sightsee or enjoy the country.
Both children have adjusted/are adjusting well to the family. There have been no major difficulties or health concerns. Matthew does receive speech therapy, but since he was adopted at the age of four months, this is not related to the adoption. Our extended family, who was not initially very supportive of the concept of adoption, has embraced both children without reservation and have completely changed their attitudes about adoption in general.
We would like waiting parents to know that adoption is a wonderful way to create a family. We chose adoption for the first time because we did not think we could have biological children. After the birth of our son Michael, we knew this was not true, but we chose to adopt again because it was such a positive experience. It does take a lot of perseverance. Also, it takes a lot of trust and it helps when you have faith in the agency you are working with. Adoption was not easy, but it can be done and is definitely worth it!
Sandra and Daniel Butler, CT
e-mail: dbutler03@snet.net
UPDATE! - More on trip and photos from Vietnam! Click HERE!
